Ballswami causes panic in Blah
On-Board Bangalore-Chennai Mail: Two staff reporters from Blah Online, Painkiller and Randombeast, went to Chennai for the weekend but came back with more than just bad memories. They came back as men tortured by unholy imagery of macabre proportions.
“Uhmmm…what the f**k, man, we didn’t have to see that,” quipped Randombeast before popping in a scheduled H drug to ease the pain.
“It’s not as though we aren’t f***ked enough in the head,” added Painkiller as he guzzles down yet another beer.
After calming down considerably, the rest of Blah were informed of the tragedy that took place.
Reading a dictated press release signed by Painkiller and Randombeast, Captain R (who has killed our former HR executive and hijacked the department) had this to say.
“We have been informed that Mr Killer and Mr Beast have suffered the ignominy of accidentally glancing at a random Swamiji’s (we are going to call him Ballswami cause we are actually heartless bastards) testicles on-board the Bangalore Mail. However we would like to inform that this holy man had no connection with the Kanchi Seer who reserves sightings of his testicular area only to small-screen actresses and middle-aged devotees.
As a result of the Ballswami’s revealing pose, Painkiller has suffered irrevocable damage to his cornea and the Beast has been vomiting blood ever since.
Therefore we will be unable to regularly update stories for this website. However we would also like to add that Blah Online bears no ill-well towards holy men, especially those prominent on cable channels. After all how many elderly men can look as calm as Hindu cows after nights of debauchery and rave parties.
On a completely different note, we also apologize for causing the colliery gas blast yesterday in north China's Shanxi province. That was certainly a practical joke gone horribly wrong. We didn’t mean any harm. Thank you very f***ing much for your precious time. Now sod off”
Ed note: Blah’s crack team of lawyers are taking time off from smoking crack and actually working on a case to overthrow Captain R’s tyranny in the HR department.
“Uhmmm…what the f**k, man, we didn’t have to see that,” quipped Randombeast before popping in a scheduled H drug to ease the pain.
“It’s not as though we aren’t f***ked enough in the head,” added Painkiller as he guzzles down yet another beer.
After calming down considerably, the rest of Blah were informed of the tragedy that took place.
Reading a dictated press release signed by Painkiller and Randombeast, Captain R (who has killed our former HR executive and hijacked the department) had this to say.
“We have been informed that Mr Killer and Mr Beast have suffered the ignominy of accidentally glancing at a random Swamiji’s (we are going to call him Ballswami cause we are actually heartless bastards) testicles on-board the Bangalore Mail. However we would like to inform that this holy man had no connection with the Kanchi Seer who reserves sightings of his testicular area only to small-screen actresses and middle-aged devotees.
As a result of the Ballswami’s revealing pose, Painkiller has suffered irrevocable damage to his cornea and the Beast has been vomiting blood ever since.
Therefore we will be unable to regularly update stories for this website. However we would also like to add that Blah Online bears no ill-well towards holy men, especially those prominent on cable channels. After all how many elderly men can look as calm as Hindu cows after nights of debauchery and rave parties.
On a completely different note, we also apologize for causing the colliery gas blast yesterday in north China's Shanxi province. That was certainly a practical joke gone horribly wrong. We didn’t mean any harm. Thank you very f***ing much for your precious time. Now sod off”
Ed note: Blah’s crack team of lawyers are taking time off from smoking crack and actually working on a case to overthrow Captain R’s tyranny in the HR department.
posted by Random Lizard | 6:38 PM
1 Comments:
dudes...well...yay for the update! and my empathy and best wishes for recovering from the trauma. having been there, i can assure you that alot more substances will need to be ingested to get through these troubled times
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