End Ram nips change in its infancy
Blah Online is currently managed by one bloke who doesn't have access to blogger at his workplace. At home, his laptop has conspired with Reliance Wi-Fi broadband service to show him the finger. So we (actually I) have decided to start subscribing to reports from newspapers such as The Bindu and The Last Month Salary Due Express. Kickstarting this initiative is a report from The Bindu on yet another tremendously exciting topic that they are often known for.
CHENNAI: In a move that is likely to rock nothing but some jobless bastard's decaying social life, which he tries to fill up by reading the newspaper, The Bindu office in Chennai has decided to change the fonts on its sign board.
Holding a press conference on this matter at the press club located on Mount Road in Chennai during the none-too-wee hours of the morning when the stars of Venus aligned perfectly with those of Mars thereby subtly signaling that Brahmins are far superior to Dravidians, Jews and Negroes, Mr End Ram said that this change could mean more than what common folk could possibly conceive.
"At The Bindu, things don't change. For years we have been hurting your aural and visual senses by printing mundane shit that wouldn't look too out of place in your neighbour's arse or my own. As far as I can remember, you need to get rid of your backbone or at least drink bovine urine every morning to get your way around here. And its such a momentous occasion that The Bindu has decided to bring forth some sort of a change. Fonts are important. I remember once in 1956 when…."
At this point, a random sharp object was hurled at Mr End Ram by some irate dude who obviously didn't take a liking to the drawling, monotonous dribble that was being spewed forth. Subscribing to the dude's violent antics, several non-Brahmins and non-ass kissers started throwing random objects at Mr End Ram.
Several hours later, a bloodied and tattered Ram crawled up to the microphone and had this to say to the audience, which mostly consisted of puckered lips sticking to his rear end.
"Fuck it, the fonts are not going to change."
Fuck it indeed, Mr saffron-clad, mundane-as-watching-dung-dry, poo-faced sonofabitch...contuinue boring the daylights out of dawn. Fuck Ram, fuck The Hindu.
CHENNAI: In a move that is likely to rock nothing but some jobless bastard's decaying social life, which he tries to fill up by reading the newspaper, The Bindu office in Chennai has decided to change the fonts on its sign board.
Holding a press conference on this matter at the press club located on Mount Road in Chennai during the none-too-wee hours of the morning when the stars of Venus aligned perfectly with those of Mars thereby subtly signaling that Brahmins are far superior to Dravidians, Jews and Negroes, Mr End Ram said that this change could mean more than what common folk could possibly conceive.
"At The Bindu, things don't change. For years we have been hurting your aural and visual senses by printing mundane shit that wouldn't look too out of place in your neighbour's arse or my own. As far as I can remember, you need to get rid of your backbone or at least drink bovine urine every morning to get your way around here. And its such a momentous occasion that The Bindu has decided to bring forth some sort of a change. Fonts are important. I remember once in 1956 when…."
At this point, a random sharp object was hurled at Mr End Ram by some irate dude who obviously didn't take a liking to the drawling, monotonous dribble that was being spewed forth. Subscribing to the dude's violent antics, several non-Brahmins and non-ass kissers started throwing random objects at Mr End Ram.
Several hours later, a bloodied and tattered Ram crawled up to the microphone and had this to say to the audience, which mostly consisted of puckered lips sticking to his rear end.
"Fuck it, the fonts are not going to change."
Fuck it indeed, Mr saffron-clad, mundane-as-watching-dung-dry, poo-faced sonofabitch...contuinue boring the daylights out of dawn. Fuck Ram, fuck The Hindu.
posted by Random Lizard | 6:04 PM
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